"if only people were robots" | spooky kitchens #35

Happy Friday Sunday y’all,

First thing’s first: I was a little irked while writing this one. So be prepared for some…irked-ness. 🙂

As a quick reminder, all green text is linked.* (*not always to anything important)

So what happened this week? (TL;DR)

• We tackle piledrive the textbook pitch for robotics in restaurants.

• FT gave CloudKitchens a puff piece, Inday set a good example for adapting to the new (now) normal, and we’ve discovered the answer to the question, “How many virtual brands is too many virtual brands (for one location)?”

man, if only people were robots, huh?

“The robots are here. And they are making you fries.” Laura Reilly & Lee Powell, Washington Post.

This is the story of Flippy, the famous burger-flipping, fry-dunking, and some other stuff-doing robot; who, incidentally, was a neighbor of Kitchen United’s first location in Pasadena while I was working there. This is not where I spill juicy early days gossip about Flippy, who I rarely saw except when I knocked on Miso Robotics’ door to hand over a mis-delivered package. Rather, I want to focus on a couple quotes in particular from the article:

“He doesn’t take breaks, never shirks when the boss isn’t looking, won’t call out sick or lean heavy on the company health insurance…” and “...they aren’t sniffy about working the graveyard shift.”

There’s a dichotomy at work in the article that’s fascinating. Sorry, aha, I meant infuriating. That’s because the restaurant folks interviewed here seem to go out of their way to make clear that robotics isn’t replacing workers’ jobs; they’re filling jobs that can’t otherwise be filled, and streamlining the overall food-making process. The Miso team, too, has also worked to ensure that employees who work with Flippy think of the robot as an assistant, not a replacement – also clear in the article. The author, however, judging by the above quotes, seems to think much the opposite; that lazy fast food employees are ripe for replacement. If only they didn’t take breaks, wouldn’t shirk when the boss looked away, and never got sick or used the company-provided health insurance (also betraying a near-total misunderstanding of how health insurance works – a company doesn’t pay more for health insurance the more an employee uses it. I could be wrong, insurance is possibly the most labyrinthian system in the modern world. But that’s my understanding). And godforbid an employee not prostrate themselves upon the checkered tile floor when bestowed the heavenly privilege of working the graveyard shift.

J F’in C, y’all. Can you tell the author never worked in foodservice? They might as well say, “Now this new, tireless, metal worker, they won’t be one of those humans that stop working when they collapse of exhaustion,” tittering in the same smug, condescending tone.

Now, okay, to be honest, I doubt the writer (or the editor) is quite the cartoonish villain I have painted here. My annoyance stems mainly from having heard that particular take on automation one too many times, and knowing that beyond being extraordinarily, even gleefully callous, it’s a dangerously shallow pitch for robotics. If you want to think seriously about where automation may take the industry – or your own business – that kind of shallow thinking is going to leave you a step behind at best, or at worst, making a dangerous business decision.

Robotics is slowly, slowly finding its place in restaurants. There will likely be room for both Flippy-types and other automation in models beyond this initial, experimental foothold in fast food. New restaurant archetypes may well spring into existence due to robotics. But again, much like how not all meals will be delivered in the future (regardless of what visionary thinker Rob Grimes predicts, see below), not all restaurants will use robots – because they aren’t the solution to such “flaws” of humanity as taking breaks, slacking off for a moment, using health insurance to cover exorbitant medical care costs (redundant: all medical care costs are exorbitant), or preferring not to work through the wee hours. They will come with their own baggage, like breaking down and requiring a technician to patch before work can continue; fluctuating rental costs; necessary replacement every couple years (if you’re lucky, at the pace of innovation). Like other kitchen equipment investments, they can both make a kitchen process more efficient, but also more clunky and difficult to alter in the future. Robots aren’t a step up from people. They’re, if anything, a step to the side. And if integrated into a business the wrong way, several steps backward.

I’m so tired of hearing that the promise of robots is in their substitution for unreliable people. The real promise is in finding the specific things they really can do well, in their potential to evolve certain concepts and brands, in adding new branches to the industry. Like ghost kitchens, fast casual, and practically every other sweeping innovation for the industry, robotics is an “and” for restaurants; not an “or.”

Now, if you can, imagine an employee that doesn’t break down, never mistakes a spoon for a spatula, and doesn’t lean heavy on overhead. An employee that can even work without a constant minder. Introducing: Beth. It’s just Beth. They’re great. Can you even comprehend a world where restaurants are full of Beths? Probably not. But that world is coming. In fact, *gasp* it’s here…right now!

Related: “Drive-Thru And Barista Jobs Are Most Ripe For Automation, Restaurants Say” (Joe Guzkowski, Restaurant Business). A better, more nuanced, and actually thought-through take on the future of automation in restaurants. 🙃

sides

🤷 Canada's first-ish ghost kitchen/grocery partnership to open in Toronto (“First Ghost Kitchen to Open in a Grocery Store in Canada Will be in a Toronto Longo’s [Interview]” Mario Toneguzzi, Retail Insider). Technically “Ghost Kitchens” (the company, not the concept) opened first in Canadian Walmart, and a lot of Walmarts have grocery sections, so… in a way, that was kind of the first? Regardless of who was technically first, Kitchen Hub is a growing player in the country, and Longo’s has 36 location in Toronto, so there’s plenty of potential for growth. From the other similar partnerships in the US (namely Kitchen United/Kroger) these pairings seem like a good match.

😲 Wow! Ghost kitchens are not quite as easy as Crave thought they’d be! (“10 new restaurants open offering Boise delivery, 9 others close — most leaving Idaho” Michael Deeds, Idaho Statesman.) I don’t mean to be smug – though I am, a bit – it’s just that Crave’s launch bonanza at a conference back in the day basically implied that they had “solved” ghost kitchens, and all those other schmucks could play around in the Big City all they wanted, because Crave’s model was #1. Not so much. But hey, they’re figuring it out, and there’s not a single ghost kitchen that hasn’t had turnover – most have had significant turnover. Here’s hoping they pull it together.

🙄 Some people really just can’t get off Travis Kalanick’s d*** (“Travis Kalanick’s excellent (and secret) venture” Fiona Symon, Sonja Hutson and Marc Filippino, Financial Times). It’s just…like…have you read any other articles written about Cloud Kitchens in the last year, FT? No? Shocker! Also what is that article title? “Travis Kalanick’s excellent and secret venture?” And did you really just discover ghost kitchens and real estate plays? In 2022? What is even happening here FT?

👍 Inday is a great example of how restaurants should adapt to the now normal (“No seats? No problem.” Kristen Hawley, Expedite). The article details how Inday pivoted its layout to the “new normal” (that I’m calling the “now normal” — no, that wasn’t a typo) to adjust for lower volume, more takeaway, and a smaller labor pool to hire from. What’s most refreshing is Inday’s founder’s perspective of not waiting for New York to go “back to normal,” i.e. the fantastical future when all workers return to the office. Because that’s not happening, at least not anytime soon. Instead, he sees the current environment as about as settled as it’s going to get here on the very tail of the Covid pandemic, and has taken the initiative to restructure accordingly. Other restaurants holding out for the great RTO should take note.

Also, Inday’s food is great. It was a go-to for me while I lived in New York, briefly, years ago. Absolutely solid lunch stop.

😪 Epic Kitchens closes a Chicago location (“Epic Kitchens’ Year-Old Lakeview Ghost Kitchen Location Closed Until ‘Further Notice’” Jake Wittich, Block Club Chicago). Aw shucks! That’s all. It happens.

🚀 A new Dark Kitchen Rises in SE Asia (“Cloud kitchen startup CloudEats raises more capital to ramp up Southeast Asian expansion” Kate Park, TechCrunch). CloudEats promises to be the Next Big Ghost Kitchen in the region, with over 20 locations already and a successful expansion into Vietnam. It’s not clear whether they do anything different than other ghost kitchens, but its pedigree is legit. Iacopo Rovere, a founder, is the former CEO of Foodpanda, a Southeast Asian delivery firm that once operated a not-insignificant number of ghost kitchens before largely stepping away from the business.

*Correction: The email version of this blurb incorrectly stated that CloudEats had launched its very first location outside of its home country of The Philippines. In fact, the company operates many locations in The Philippines and has just launched its first Vietnam location, an endeavor that the new funding seeks to expand.

😈 Ok, some of India’s cloud kitchens really are dystopian (“Zomato cracks down on cloud kitchens running more than 10 brands from a single location” Sohini Mitter, Business Today). I roll my eyes when I see an article on the potential dangers(!) of ghost kitchens and how they’re going to ruin the restaurant business, etc, etc. Don’t get me wrong, some ghost kitchens do totally suck, but most of them I’d call “so-so with room for improvement,” and a couple are even pretty great (not that there are all that many ghost kitchens overall), both ethically and business-ly. But, um, yes, India should probably crack down on kitchens that operate 200 brands out of a single space. The brands are all virtual, with only slightly distinct menus. It’s essentially a mega virtual real estate play to capture space on delivery apps, which I kind of respect, actually. Gotta love a big swing. But no more of that, friends. Stick to just five violently mediocre brands like the rest of the host kitchens.

🤢 Man uses coincidentally accurate past projections to make bonkers new predictions. Also says “sex” so the reporters listen up (“Looking forward to sex with robots” Peter Romeo, Restaurant Business). I put this at the end because I started with a rant, and I usually try to keep it to a maximum of one tirade per newsletter, but all the back-slapping on LinkedIn (and in the article itself) really pressed a button. Thus:

Despite the tone of the article linked above, this supposedly forward-looking address of FSTEC is stupendously behind the times. Consider the “Jetsons” reference. Consider the fixation on food as a mist and the (hardly original) absolutist future ideal where dine-in restaurants are completely obsolete. Consider the reliance on a shocking hook (We’ll be having “more sex with robots than we do with our human partners,” you say!? Gasp!) that has practically nothing to do with his subject but will (and did) garner headlines and attention from the sleepy, spotty late-conference crowd. These are dusty old takes in a modern tech-y sheep’s clothing. It’s easy to assume he’s thinking ahead simply because he’s talking about tech, making predictions as fast as he can draw breath, and incessantly dropping the word “future;” yet, everything in this speech is something I have heard before somewhere else. Most of it, I heard years ago.

If you want to read something actually future-forward, try Joe G’s automation article I mentioned earlier, or this snippet from an upcoming QSR Mag interview Meredith Sandland (disclaimer: former coworker) on the overlooked but rapidly developing opportunity of smart commercial kitchen appliances.

Some of the birdshot projections in the speech will undoubtedly turn out to be true. And hey, it’s the guy’s own conference, he can do and say what he wants. But we can slow down on the LinkedIn circle jer…umping. Yeah, the LinkedIn circle jumping. For joy. We can slow down on that. I don’t know, maybe I’m just grumpy this week.*

*I’m definitely just grumpy this week.

That’s spooky kitchens.

Boo ✌️,

Mitch

P.S. If you’re just jumping into ghost kitchens and want to learn more, check out my ghostly glossary and spooky kitchens ghost kitchen cheat sheet. They’re there to help make sense of this weird and wild west.

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